Posts tagged self-improvement
Charles Dickens and Groundhog Day
Feb 2nd
“Groundhog Day is a lot like a rock concert but the people are better behaved and there’s a groundhog involved…” ~Tom Chapin, editor of the Punxsutawney Spirit newspaper.
… As an aside, it is Groundhog Day in the United States while I am writing this entry. Although I am not sure that “Punxsutawney Phil” is any better at weather forecasting than me, and I am not very good; I do love the concept! The cute little devil did see his shadow today and has forecast 6 more weeks of winter. Not a shocker – this winter does not seem to want to let go. …
Last time I talked about my first book and its upcoming release in November of 2010. I also mentioned that my decision to self-publish this first book was influenced by my research into the life of Charles Dickens. Here is a bit more about that story:
I recently read “The Making of Charles Dickens” by Christopher Hibbert and I really enjoyed the experience! I not only discovered a new author whose style I liked, but a prolific author as well. This means I have lots of great books waiting for me to find and read. I also got some great insights into what might have helped Charles Dickens be the incredible novelist that he was. (Did you know that he is one of the very few authors that has never gone out of print? And this, as I write this entry, some 140 years after his death? Wow!)
I am always looking for the “secrets of success” or the unique beliefs that help exceptional people be exceptional. Here are some of the secrets that I extracted from my recent study of “Boz”:
1) Being extremely focused on the task at hand – fiercely determined to get it right – is a key to success in writing (and any other aspect of living.)
2) It is okay to be afraid about the reception your writing will receive – as long as you are brave enough to get it out to the public to read.
3) Believe in the value of your writing, even if others at first do not share your enthusiasm.
4) Write about what you know intimately well and share the clarity of your vision.
5) Don’t be afraid to ask what you think your writing is worth.
6) You can do more than you think you can.
7) It is fine to use newest technology to publish your books. (Dickens commonly used magazines and serial releases of chapters – then he sold the books as completed documents. This was pretty cutting edge stuff for the day.) This final point is the one that swayed me to the side of self-publishing.
Next time I’ll be talking about the complete set of reasons why I decided to self-publish this first book and what the implications might be for you and me.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time”. ~Charles Dickens from his novel “David Copperfield”
Illness, Recovery and Change
Nov 2nd
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” ~Alan Alda
I have been ill again – terribly ill and only able to function at the most trivial levels for nearly three weeks. This illness, this being unwell, has been a recurring event in my life, really for a significant portion of the last seven years. In many ways, it feels like being ill, or operating at well under my former energy levels, has been the defining state of the previous stage of my life. I say previous because I know that I am beginning the next stage of my life and this new stage, this stage that is being born now, is about very different things.
I am not completely sure what the stage of my life that is now ending was all about, but I do know some. I did lots of things. I learned lots of things. I had successes and I had lots of things that turned out very differently than I hoped. I know that during these years I learned what my calling is for the next stage of my life: I am, and am meant to be, a writer, a business and executive coach and a seminar leader. This wasn’t clear at the beginning of this stage – seven years ago I was returning to the working world after a nearly ten year retirement and I was very unclear about the next focus of my life’s work.
I had always been a big risk-taker. Following my intuition, leaping and then having faith that I could find a way to make it work – this had been my pattern and a driving force behind why I was able to be retired at such an early age. I had found the ways to make it work and my intuition is usually right. (It is sometimes hard to tell my intuition from fear or from unrealized dreams of my parents, but if I get quiet and honest, I can tell.) I had always been a very quick learner and I came into this world with a great toolbox of skills – although I have always achieved a great deal compared to many others – compared to my abilities – I have been in the past one of the great underachievers of the past fifty years.
I’m not going to go over at this time the details of how I learned my calling; that might be fun to talk about some other time though. I am going to talk just a bit more about being ill. Why was I ill so much?
- I didn’t make being vibrantly healthy a priority and
- being sick stopped me from taking too many risks and starting too many projects.
I think it is as simple as that. When I honestly look at the past seven years and ask myself:
- What could I have done differently that would have drastically increased my health?
- Did I gain anything by being sick or unwell so much of the time?
Then I get the answers from above. I didn’t make health a priority and I needed to learn focus and a bit of conservatism in my choices. So have I learned? Perhaps not quite, but I am close. If my calling, what I am supposed to be doing right now is to be a writer, a business and executive coach and a seminar leader and I leave it there, then I have not learned. My body is aging and needs to become a priority – every single day.
Now I will think of myself as:
- A Peak Performance Athlete
- A Writer
- A Business and Executive Coach
- A Seminar Leader
Will this change be en0ugh? As long as action follows intention then yes it will. Come along for the ride and let’s find out together. It’s not always easy being born – I may yell sometimes and make some messes; still my new life is out there and I want to live it!
For those of you waiting for me to finish talking about some great topics that I started and never finished, thank you for your patience! The rest is coming.
Till next time…Jack
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha
A Fresh Start in Life
Sep 21st
“No matter where you go, there you are” ~Buckaroo Banzai (and many others! Follow this link to learn more about this great quote)
We have been moving into a new home, new to us anyway, for the past week or so. There are still lots of smaller things to take from the old house and lots to organize. My home office for example is going to be really great and I am putting significant energy into its design and layout. I want a space that really supports me – when I am not traveling I spend much of my working time in my home office – and I want to feel great and empowered as soon as I walk in the door. To support this goal, I am buying new shelves for my books, my great and lifelong friends, and I will finally have room for a large work table near these racks of books. This part of my office will look and feel much like a library and I love libraries!
The Common Problem with Starting Over
I have moved many times in my life and most times the moves had one common issue – I always brought me – with my various problems and less than optimal habits right along with me! I thought this time I would do something very different. I am going to use this move as an opportunity of leaving some old habits behind and beginning some new more empowering habits. How am I go to do this? I am going to use ritual and visualization and evoking memories of past times of change. I think I will invest the next few blog entries covering how I do this and how you might do the same – whether or not you are moving at all!
Come back next time and see more about how to create and effectively use your own “Ritual of Starting Over”.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” ~Milton Berle
Testing New WordPress Themes
Sep 14th
“Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” ~John F. Kennedy
My website got hacked again over the weekend – not once but twice – and you know what? I’m grateful. At first I was upset and angry at the hacker that had targeted me. Now I am actually grateful to the little online cockroach that attacked me – I was forced to learn and change – it has already been great!
What I Learned from Being Hacked
- I was forced to learn more about website security – this will certainly be critical in the future.
- I was forced to update my WordPress code – a great thing to update.
- I was forced to review and then select a new online security and anti-virus program – this was something I had always meant to do.
- I was forced to review and then select from a number of newer and more robust WordPress Themes – this is what I am doing now and I love all of the new options.
So, being hacked was actually a great learning experience for me, and all this learning happened in just the last few days. So thank you little online cockroach! In your desire to hurt me and feel in some pitiful way significant, you actually helped!
Testing WordPress Themes
I am taking this opportunity to completely revamp my website. I am going to make it more comprehensive, more viewer friendly, of course more secure, and I intend – more visually interesting. Come back often and see the changes.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Whosoever desires constant success must change his conduct with the times.” ~Niccolo Machiavelli
Why Not Live Your Ideal Life Right Now?
Jul 15th
“The greatest dreams are always unrealistic.” ~Will Smith
Here is the promised update on the “Come As You Will Be Party”. Again, the idea for this comes from chapter twelve of Jack Canfield’s book: The Success Principles. The basic concept is this: you get together with a group of people of similar ambition and you completely pretend to be living your dream life from five years from now. All of you talk up your current life: Where you are living; how you make your money; the kinds of cars that you now drive; the trips you are able to take; the people that you now hang with; the books you have written; whatever; this is your chance to feel what it will be like to really be living your dream life. You don’t worry about how you got there. You don’t worry about seeming outrageous. You listen to each other tell your more exciting dreams as though you have already accomplished them and you be excited for each other.
Do you want to feel what it is like to be a best-selling author? This is your chance. Do you want to feel what it is like to own a vacation home for your family and friends to use on the Amalfi Coast of Italy? (These are two of my dreams, but you can use them too! 
)Feel that way now. What ever your dreams – come as though they are already real. Bring props, dress as you would, really be your future self; these are keys to making this exercise really useful.
For me, I thought this would be easy and feel very natural. I was surprised. I had a hard time at first really stepping into my future life. I had trouble really saying my dreams aloud to other people as though they had already happened – were already a part of my day to day existence. This was great information for me. I am not mentally ready yet for my dreams to happen. Wow! I am still reeling from that. I have some work to do on myself yet; this is not a surprise – I am just surprised how much work I have left to do!
Overall, this was a great experience. After the initial disorientation of living my future, I felt great! I could see and feel so many things that I had not even imagined and my motivation – Wow! I am completely committed now to doing what it takes to make my future life a reality and I gained lots of insight into what it will take to get me there. This was one of the most powerful exercises that I have done in years.
How about you? Do you know some like-minded ambitious people that would like to take a very powerful step towards making their dreams become real? Time to make some calls and schedule a party! Have fun and let me know how it goes.
Till next time…Jack
“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” ~Arnold H. Glasow
In Search of Excellence
Jun 16th
“The important thing is not to stop questioning”. ~ Albert Einstein
I am almost always looking for ways to achieve things more quickly, or more elegantly, or with less stress. One of my missions, almost since I first entered the business world, has been to get my assigned or desired tasks done as efficiently and effectively as possible. This works out well in my coaching and consulting work with clients and works out well in my ongoing quest for my own personal growth and evolution. People usually have already figured out slow and painful and stressful ways to try to accomplish things. They usually do not need a coach for that!
This leads me to modeling. In my early training in NLP, or Neurolinguistic Programming, I was taught the basics of modeling…extracting the processes, and beliefs, and actions that enable people to achieve extraordinary results. You knew you had done good a good job of modeling someone when you could achieve the same results in basically the same situation in the same amount of time. Modeling someone that already has the result that you want is a wonderful way to save time and effort. They have already figured out a path that leads to great results. Now this may not be the only path that leads to really impressive results; one is always free to model others and combine or meld the different patterns and look for an even better overall result.
Now this finally gets us to the heart of today’s note – modeling Albert Einstein. I wish Albert had written an autobiography – these are often marvelous distillations of wisdom and ideas – especially if written near the end of the author’s life. Although there are many books written about Einstein and many books that have collected his letters and essays, Einstein did not write an autobiography. Sad. Still, there is much to be learned from this genius of the 20th century just from second or third hand observation. What is second or third hand observation? It is reading a book; in this case reading a biography about Einstein.
I am currently reading “Einstein – The Life and Times” by Ronald Clark published in 1971. This is an interesting book, it certainly gives some great insights into Einstein, and it also covers a bit of world history during the great scientists’ life. This is not a light read – at 864 pages – it is anything but a light read. Not sure if I can recommend this book in general, I’m a bit less than half-way thru, I think this book is perhaps best for true Einstein followers and science history buffs. Still here is what I think I have modeled so far that I think contributed greatly to Einstein’s success:
- He was extremely good at being focused. He would often need to be interrupted and told it was time to eat or sleep.
- He loved to surround himself with other great and stimulating minds and would often talk for hours with others from the scientific community.
- He spent significant amounts of time immersed in music and sailing. It is my belief that he used both of these activities to free his unconscious mind to solve problems and invent new perspectives.
- From his early days as a patent application clerk to his college professor positions, Einstein excelled at getting himself jobs that paid him well enough while still allowing him ample time and energy to work on his scientific endeavors.
- Einstein was great at getting someone else to handle all of the mundane aspects of his life – cooking, cleaning, shopping and so forth.
I’ll go over these observations in another entry and look at the implications of them. For now, ponder this: If you were really focused on one great task and you surrounded yourself with other great minds and bounced ideas around on a very regular basis and you found activities that you loved that freed your mind to think and you made enough money efficiently so that you had lots of time to devote to your one great passion and you had someone else handling all of the little time stealers for you…what could you accomplish in a decade or so? (Ten years is about how long it took Einstein to put together the vast majority of the work that would make him famous.)
Till next time…Jack
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~ Albert Einstein
Have you come on board?
Jun 15th
“Suddenly, it seems as though all the world’s a-twitter.” ~ Newsweek
Okay, I’ll admit it. I was skeptical and I should have started sooner. I am by nature a early adopter of new technology, but in the case of Twitter, I just did not see how I could fit one more thing into my schedule. And for Twitter, I needed to fit a bunch of little things into my daily schedule and what was it going to do for me? It turns out that it could do a great deal. Within less than 3 days of joining Twitter and making just a few entries, I got hired for a speaking gig directly as a result of Twitter. Wow! Double Wow!
So, now I am a believer and if you are not already using Twitter, and your business has some internet component, then it is time for you to become a believer as well. I’m not going to go into the nuts and bolts of how to use Twitter – I’m just learning myself and I know there are many much more qualified people out there writing great information. Just go look for them. I will give you just a few links:
You can sign up for your own free Twitter account here.
You can follow me here as I learn about Twitter and grow my coaching and writing business.
You can follow Biz Stone, one of the cofounders of Twitter here.
That’s it for this blog entry. I have tons of great writing to get done this week. Very exciting!
Till next time…Jack
“Twitter is on its way to becoming the next killer app.” ~ TIME Magazine
What Do You Do When You Don’t Succeed?
Jun 4th
“Fall seven times, stand up eight”. ~Japanese Proverb
Last time I started to talk about what I do when I have set a goal – a result with a deadline – and I fail to achieve it. I might have achieved part of the goal – within the time that I had allocated, or perhaps I didn’t achieve any of the goal. Either way, what I do next is critical.
I’m going to start first by talking about what I don’t do.
- I don’t beat myself up.
- I don’t tell myself that I’m a failure.
- I don’t make myself feel terrible.
- I don’t make excuses (although I do look for reasons and patterns).
- I don’t quit.
- I don’t blame anyone else (even if they were involved).
All of these items involve negative motivation and although I recognize and use the power of negative motivation – moving away from something that you don’t want, I don’t start here when I am looking at goals that I failed to achieve in the time that I had given them to be achieved.
So what do I do and what do I coach my clients to do? Come back next time and we will start to give you a nice clean and highly effective pattern to model. Bye the way, how many of you have seen the Disney movie Meet the Robinsons? If you haven’t, go find it. I you have seen it, watch it again and look for the empowering beliefs and great self-talk that is nested into this movie. I just love it!
I was saddened to read today about the death of the American actor David Carradine. When I was a young man looking for role models, the show Kung Fu staring David Carradine was a favorite of mine. I still own much of my love of helping people and many of my empowering beliefs to this show. Thanks David (and of course the show’s writers and producers). You can read more about David here and here.
Till next time…Jack
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else”. ~Benjamin Franklin
Have You Checked In Lately?
Jun 1st
“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable”. ~Thomas Foxwell Buxton
How are you doing this year? Specifically, how are you doing with the goals that you set out to accomplish this year? Five months of this year are already behind us and if you are off track there is still time to make adjustments and bring it all home.
For me, I set some some very challenging goals for this year. You can look at them here and also read some of the background about the creation of them: Jack’s Original Goals for 2009. So how am I doing? I already have some mixed results.
Here again are my top five goals for the next twelve months:
- Health: I will return to my optimal bodyweight before the end of 2009.
- Family: My wife and I will take our family to New York for a great vacation to celebrate my elder daughter’s completion of her graduate program.
- Business: I will blog 5 days per week – every week of 2009.
- Finances: I will earn more in 2009 than I ever have before – at least 25% more.
- Fun: I will run in the USA’s largest cross-country race: The Living History Farms Seven Miler.
Here is a quick recap:
Goal 1) This is a health focused goal – my largest challenge in the past decade. It has now become impossible to achieve this goal in the remaining 7 months. I need to look at what happened here, make adjustments and recommit (I have already done this, but I will explain what I did and what I am doing so you can see the process. You won’t always get your goals done in the time that you originally allocate. How you react when this happens is critical!)
Goal 2) This is a family and fun related goal. We are well on track to making this goal happen.
Goal 3) This is a business related goal. This is a complex goal – a seemingly simple task with multiple rewards and changes. This goal cannot happen now although the results behind the goal are exceeding my expectations. Again, I will adjust and show you what I am doing.
Goal 4) This is a finances or money goal. I am certainly going to exceed this goal for the year.
Goal 5) This is a fun and health related goal. I can achieve some of this goal – but not all of it. We will talk about it.
Well, that is a new beginning for me. How about for you? Come back next time and see an example of what to do when you aren’t on track.
Till next time…Jack
“Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.” ~Dale Carnegie
Planning for Success Part One
Feb 3rd
“Come to the edge, He said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said.
They came. He pushed them,
And they flew . . .”
~Guillaume Apollinaire – French poet
This is going to be a multi-post series of articles about planning. I am going to show the exact techniques that I teach to my clients and I am going to illustrate these techniques by creating my own plan for getting back in shape.
In the last entry I shared and clarified the goal: “I will return to my optimal bodyweight before the end of 2009.” became “I will return to 195 pounds of bodyweight by the morning of December 31st, 2009.”
So the first step was to clarify the goal – to make sure that it was easy to understand and told my brain exactly what I wanted to achieve by what date. (By the way, if there is some big goal that you really want to accomplish, you might consider taking it through this process with me. I know that you will find it useful.) So, now I have my goal and my deadline. The next question that I am going to ask is: Is it possible to achieve this, is it reasonable to achieve this, in the time that I have allowed? I believe yes, just!
Let me explain. I have 11 months to achieve this weight loss and I currently weigh around 330 pounds. I intend to return to my ideal weight of 195 pounds which means that I must lose 135 pounds in 11 months. Simple math tells me that equals 12.28 pounds per month or approximately 3.07 pounds per week. Is this possible? Yes it is. From my past efforts at losing weight and my research, this is indeed possible. Is it reasonable – probably not completely. It is however exciting, and I will take the excitement over a more reasonable goal.
How about you? Does your goal excite you? Is it possible? If it seems impossible to you, then move out the date or reduce the goal until you get a signal from your brain that you believe it can be done. It is okay to be afraid, we will talk about what that means in this series, but you must at least believe that the goal is possible in the time that you have allowed. If not, make a change in the quantity of the goal and the time allotted until you believe that it can be done. It is okay if it is a stretch. It is okay if it feels a little scary to write it down. It is okay if you don’t know how you will achieve it yet. It is okay if you have failed to achieve this same goal in the past. We will deal with each of these things.
How about excitement? Is this an exciting goal? Make sure that it is very exciting to you and that it is your goal – not a goal that someone else has given you. If you have been given a goal by someone else, then rewrite the goal until it deals with rewards directly related to you and it excites you!
For example, your boss might tell you: “You need to open 50 new accounts this year and they need to each buy an average of $4,000 dollars.” This is actually a more clear goal than most bosses will actually give. Still, it has nothing directly related to you in this goal. There may be an implicit “or else”. This might be: or else we will demote you. It might be: or else we will fire you. There will certainly be some negative consequences associated with a goal that you are given – an “or else”. Rarely, there will be some positive consequences discussed. For example: Do this and we will promote you or do this and we will give you a $10,000 bonus. This may or may not be enough to excite you.
For me, I am not directly excited by money. I am much more excited by thinking about the freedom and the experiences that the money will buy. I don’t know what motives you most – what turns you on – but you do! So rewrite any goal that you have, self created or given to you by another, until in positive terms, it talks about benefits that excite you.
What about my goal? Does “I will return to 195 pounds of bodyweight by the morning of December 31st, 2009.” excite me? Yes it does. Does it clearly state why I am excited about this? No. It doesn’t. Next time, I will show you how to create a vision to go along with the goal that will do this very thing.
To recap:
- Write down your goal
- Make sure your goal has a clear and easy to measure “What by When”
- Check for reasonableness or possibility – can this be done?
- If it can’t or feels impossible, the rewrite the goal, changing the amount or the time frame until you can believe it.
- Check for excitement. Make sure that you are excited about this goal.
- If this a goal that was given to you by another – check for all of these same things.
Till next time… Jack
“Courage is being scared to death—but saddling up anyway.” ~John Wayne