Personal Development;Life Enhancement;Achievement
Posts tagged NLP
Illness, Recovery and Change
Nov 2nd
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” ~Alan Alda
I have been ill again – terribly ill and only able to function at the most trivial levels for nearly three weeks. This illness, this being unwell, has been a recurring event in my life, really for a significant portion of the last seven years. In many ways, it feels like being ill, or operating at well under my former energy levels, has been the defining state of the previous stage of my life. I say previous because I know that I am beginning the next stage of my life and this new stage, this stage that is being born now, is about very different things.
I am not completely sure what the stage of my life that is now ending was all about, but I do know some. I did lots of things. I learned lots of things. I had successes and I had lots of things that turned out very differently than I hoped. I know that during these years I learned what my calling is for the next stage of my life: I am, and am meant to be, a writer, a business and executive coach and a seminar leader. This wasn’t clear at the beginning of this stage – seven years ago I was returning to the working world after a nearly ten year retirement and I was very unclear about the next focus of my life’s work.
I had always been a big risk-taker. Following my intuition, leaping and then having faith that I could find a way to make it work – this had been my pattern and a driving force behind why I was able to be retired at such an early age. I had found the ways to make it work and my intuition is usually right. (It is sometimes hard to tell my intuition from fear or from unrealized dreams of my parents, but if I get quiet and honest, I can tell.) I had always been a very quick learner and I came into this world with a great toolbox of skills – although I have always achieved a great deal compared to many others – compared to my abilities – I have been in the past one of the great underachievers of the past fifty years.
I’m not going to go over at this time the details of how I learned my calling; that might be fun to talk about some other time though. I am going to talk just a bit more about being ill. Why was I ill so much?
- I didn’t make being vibrantly healthy a priority and
- being sick stopped me from taking too many risks and starting too many projects.
I think it is as simple as that. When I honestly look at the past seven years and ask myself:
- What could I have done differently that would have drastically increased my health?
- Did I gain anything by being sick or unwell so much of the time?
Then I get the answers from above. I didn’t make health a priority and I needed to learn focus and a bit of conservatism in my choices. So have I learned? Perhaps not quite, but I am close. If my calling, what I am supposed to be doing right now is to be a writer, a business and executive coach and a seminar leader and I leave it there, then I have not learned. My body is aging and needs to become a priority – every single day.
Now I will think of myself as:
- A Peak Performance Athlete
- A Writer
- A Business and Executive Coach
- A Seminar Leader
Will this change be en0ugh? As long as action follows intention then yes it will. Come along for the ride and let’s find out together. It’s not always easy being born – I may yell sometimes and make some messes; still my new life is out there and I want to live it!
For those of you waiting for me to finish talking about some great topics that I started and never finished, thank you for your patience! The rest is coming.
Till next time…Jack
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha
A Fresh Start Part Two
Sep 23rd
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.“ ~e.e. cummings
I’m getting excited about moving and leaving old outdated habits behind. How about you? Would you like a fresh start? Today I am just going to cover some of the elements of a successful ritual for leaving the past behind and starting anew. There are myriad ways to do this, but I have found the procedure that I going to spell out in the next few entries to be effective and reasonably simple.
For today, here are the questions I would like you to ponder and answer for yourself:
- What old habits would you like to leave behind? (What habits do you have currently that no longer serve you?)
- What positive things do you think those habits did for you in the past and might still be doing at some level?
- Are you truly okay with leaving these old habits behind? Ask yourself, be honest and if not – ask yourself why?
- What new habits would you like to put in their place? (If you could have the perfect habits that would really make success, on your terms, certain – what would those habits be?)
- Remember a time when you made a change for the better, anytime in your life, and write down as much of the details of this time and this change as you can remember.
- If you haven’t already, write a brief description of your vision for your future life – a compelling vision of what your future life will be like once you have accomplished your next series of life goals – make this vision perhaps twelve to eighteen month out.
That’s it for today. Tomorrow you can read about my personal answers to these questions and I’ll continue to lay out the process for doing this wonderful empowering exercise.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.” ~Shirley MacLaine
A Fresh Start in Life
Sep 21st
“No matter where you go, there you are” ~Buckaroo Banzai (and many others! Follow this link to learn more about this great quote)
We have been moving into a new home, new to us anyway, for the past week or so. There are still lots of smaller things to take from the old house and lots to organize. My home office for example is going to be really great and I am putting significant energy into its design and layout. I want a space that really supports me – when I am not traveling I spend much of my working time in my home office – and I want to feel great and empowered as soon as I walk in the door. To support this goal, I am buying new shelves for my books, my great and lifelong friends, and I will finally have room for a large work table near these racks of books. This part of my office will look and feel much like a library and I love libraries!
The Common Problem with Starting Over
I have moved many times in my life and most times the moves had one common issue – I always brought me – with my various problems and less than optimal habits right along with me! I thought this time I would do something very different. I am going to use this move as an opportunity of leaving some old habits behind and beginning some new more empowering habits. How am I go to do this? I am going to use ritual and visualization and evoking memories of past times of change. I think I will invest the next few blog entries covering how I do this and how you might do the same – whether or not you are moving at all!
Come back next time and see more about how to create and effectively use your own “Ritual of Starting Over”.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” ~Milton Berle
Testing New WordPress Themes
Sep 14th
“Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” ~John F. Kennedy
My website got hacked again over the weekend – not once but twice – and you know what? I’m grateful. At first I was upset and angry at the hacker that had targeted me. Now I am actually grateful to the little online cockroach that attacked me – I was forced to learn and change – it has already been great!
What I Learned from Being Hacked
- I was forced to learn more about website security – this will certainly be critical in the future.
- I was forced to update my WordPress code – a great thing to update.
- I was forced to review and then select a new online security and anti-virus program – this was something I had always meant to do.
- I was forced to review and then select from a number of newer and more robust WordPress Themes – this is what I am doing now and I love all of the new options.
So, being hacked was actually a great learning experience for me, and all this learning happened in just the last few days. So thank you little online cockroach! In your desire to hurt me and feel in some pitiful way significant, you actually helped!
Testing WordPress Themes
I am taking this opportunity to completely revamp my website. I am going to make it more comprehensive, more viewer friendly, of course more secure, and I intend – more visually interesting. Come back often and see the changes.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Whosoever desires constant success must change his conduct with the times.” ~Niccolo Machiavelli
Making Money Online and Writing Part 9
Aug 27th
“If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.” ~J.M. Power
A couple of entries ago, I was talking about the things that I have been consistently procrastinating. Here is a recap of that list of shame (well, really mild embarrassment):
- I am not consistently writing at least 1000 words per day on my book.
- I am not consistently doing the needed research weekly to have the 1000 words to write.
- I am not consistently getting up every morning at 5am to write.
- I am not consistently lifting weights 4 times per week.
- I am not consistently marketing myself to new speaking venues weekly.
- I am not consistently reading the blogs of writers that I respect.
- I am not consistently commenting on the blogs of writers that I respect.
This week I have done much better. Really, as soon as I wrote up the list and looked it over, I knew I could do better. Why did I do better? Here is the process that I went over to put myself into a different place – to come from a different perspective:
- I looked at my dreams for my life – business and personal – for the next few years and re-associated to how great it would feel when I had achieved these things. It will feel incredible!
- I looked at the things I was procrastinating and verified that there were critical – they were – they are.
- I honestly asked myself, expecting an answer and willing to listen, “Why am I procrastinating on these critical items?”
- I wrote down the answers for each of these “procrastination issues”.
- I committed to taking action daily both on the critical steps and the answers. (By the way, the most common reason for me not taking action was comparing my early work in progress to the great completed works of others – I felt badly and then did not take action.)
Now, everything isn’t just as I want it yet. I will need to fine tune some attitudes and beliefs and habits to make it so. Still, I am now taking action on all of these and that feels great. A similar process can work for almost anyone that is putting off what needs to be done.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.” ~C.D. Jackson
What I Learned from Dan Brown of “The Da Vinci Code” Fame
Aug 26th
“You can be anything you want to be, if only you believe with sufficient conviction and act in accordance with your faith; for whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill
I just finished reading ‘The Man Behind The Da Vinci Code” – “An Unauthorized Biography of Dan Brown” by Lisa Rogak. This was by no means an earth-shakingly good book, but it did give me some good insights into how Dan Brown became the mega-successful author that he is today. I love to read autobiographies whenever I can, but Dan Brown has not written one yet. So, this book was as good as I could do.
I read autobiographies and biographies of people that I respect or people that have already achieved some part of what I intend to achieve. I believe that doing this saves me time and missteps – if someone has already done what I intend to do, and I do the same things that they did, I should achieve very similar results. (This is a basic tenet of NLP.) For me, I intend to be a best selling author and Dan has already done that. There should be a great deal that I can learn from him, even if I write non-fiction and he writes fiction.
So, What Did I Learn From My Study of Dan Brown?
- Write early in the day when you have no other commitments or excuses. Dan did most of the work on his first books starting between 4am and 430am.
- Study your first results and early feedback. Dan used each of his books as an exercise in learning what attracted attention and sales and what did not.
- Find a job that supports you while giving you time to write. Dan worked in LA and back on the East Coast as a teacher while working and publishing his early works. Self-discipline must be one of his keys to success!
- Find a supportive mate or best friend. Dan very wisely hooked up with his wife-to-be while he was a musician in LA and from what I gather, she is still a great source of help and guidance and belief.
- Study the competition. What is selling or not selling and how did they do that – I believe that Dan spent lots of time here.
- Carefully plot and plan your work. Dan had great outlines long before he wrote any significant amounts of his actual prose.
- Write much more than you need and edit harshly. I think this is great advice for anyone that writes!
Thanks for the great advice Dan. Even though I am getting this information from someone who did not actually interview you, I think you would agree with what I have extracted. And Dan, should you by some miracle read this – I and millions of others are really ready for your next book – call it good and send it out to us – perfection is unobtainable anyhow.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times.” ~ Johann Von Schiller
Making Money Online and Writing Part 8
Aug 24th
“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” ~Frank Herbert
In my last entry, I alluded to the things that I had been procrastinating – a little bit or a lot. Now is the time to publicly fess up. Here are the things that I am doing poorly, fitfully, or not at all:
What am I Procrastinating?
- I am not consistently writing at least 1000 words per day on my book.
- I am not consistently doing the needed research weekly to have the 1000 words to write.
- I am not consistently getting up every morning at 5am to write.
- I am not consistently lifting weights 4 times per week.
- I am not consistently marketing myself to new speaking venues weekly.
- I am not consistently reading the blogs of writers that I respect.
- I am not consistently commenting on the blogs of writers that I respect.
The vast majority of these are business related – only the weightlifting falls outside of my professional life and even that one has a powerful business component. Weight lifting is the one sure thing that I know from my past that will ensure that I rapidly return to optimal health and bodyweight. For me, weightlifting matters more than diet or aerobic exercise.
So Why Do I Think I Procrastinate and Why Should You Care?
I’ll cover the whys first:
- I am afraid of something – of failing. When I probe deeper, I am comparing my first efforts with the polished final results of other authors – of course this would make me feel badly.
- I am not in the habit of getting up early – this is just a habit, but it is not serving me.
- I feel uncomfortable going to gym to workout by myself and since no one is expecting me, it is easy to skip.
- I am comfortable in my life and so I am not doing the things that I already know to do. Am I manifesting my potential? Not at all. Am I serving my family and my future? Only at a minimal level. I have gotten comfortable with doing less than my potential.
Why should you care? I want to be an example for you. If I can’t be a example of doing good – and I always want to be that – at least I will be an example of what not to do! In the next entry, I will talk about what I am doing to change these bothersome whys!
So What am I going to do this week to enhance my business and make money online?
- I am going to get up every morning at 5am sharp!
- I am going to do my research!
- I am going to write and post 5 blog entries.
- I am going to locate at least 600 compatible twitter accounts and follow them.
- I am going to lift weights four times.
Tune in next time and I will talk about how I am going to get myself to do these things (and do them consistently!). Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” ~Aristotle
Diet Results and Fat Loss Update
Aug 6th
“Life is always walking up to us and saying, “Come on in, the living’s fine,” and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.” ~Russell Baker
I have had a problem with my weight since I became a non-smoker in May of 1999. Before that, my weight would fluctuate up and down and was relatively easy to control. I’d get heavier slowly if I stopped exercising and I would lose weight quickly by adding exercise back into my life. I really didn’t need to pay much attention to what I ate or how much of it. Once I became a non-smoker, everything changed!
I began to rapidly gain weight and nothing that I did seemed to make a difference. I exercised, I dieted, I fasted – nothing stopped the weight gain. Within 12 months, I had gained 95 pounds. My waist went from a relatively trim 36 inches to a whopping 46 inches. I competely lost my ability to run or jog; I was just too heavy and it hurt my knees. It was fairly common for me, when I was a smoker, to go out and run 4 miles in 35 minutes or so, and then light up a cigarette as soon as I finished running. I played tennis at a good competitive level in the smoking days and I was proud of the fact that I could beat almost everyone that I played while smoking – literally holding a cigarette in my off hand while I was returning serve.
I became desperate to make a change. I thought many times of becoming a smoker again even though I was committed to being a non-smoker. Smoking violated almost everything that I believed was true about health and it particularly violated what I was speaking about – success and the ability to change. In those smoking days, I had to carefully plan all of my seminars so that I had time, every hour, to smoke a cigarette, brush my teeth and get back on stage -all without the audience noticing. I felt like a liar. This wasn’t what really kept me from going back to smoking though. What kept me from going back was a promise that I had made.
A Promise That I Wouldn’t Break
In the last months of my smoking addiction, I was splitting my tiime between San Francisco and Vancouver, British Columbia. I was dating a great gal that lived in the Bay Area and we were talking about getting engaged to be married. She had a cold that wouldn’t go away and after numerous visits with doctors, we got the horrible news that she had advanced agressive breast cancer. Talk about life changing news, everything changed as we tried to overcome this disease. I am still humbled and inspired by the courage and efforts of my friend Becki as she lived with this and did her best to recover.
Next Time
Sorry to leave on such a note, but my time is gone for today. I have coaching and consulting starting in just a few minutes. Next time I’ll finish the story, talk about what wonders NLP did for my cancer riddled friend, and talk about what is finally working for me in regaining my health and optimal bodyweight.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.” ~John Burroughs
Making Money Online and Writing Part Six
Aug 5th
“Think of yourself as on the threshold of unparalleled success. A whole, clear, glorious life lies before you. Achieve! Achieve!” ~Andrew Carnegie
In my last entry, I was talking about the pain that I was causing myself and wondering why. I had set my unconscious mind the task of giving me information about this issue. Here is the download from my unconscious mind to my conscious mind: I keep remembering this issue and feeling pain about it because my unconscious mind wants me to be safe in the future and does not feel that I have prepared myself sufficiently to feel safe should this happen again. I would have to agree!
In other words, the positive intention of this behavior – an unpleasant memory coming up again and again and then my feeling bad about it again and again – this behavior is happening to serve me. This behavior, if I temporarily view it as a separate aspect of myself, is trying to help me. Once I have satisfied the requirements of this aspect of me, then the behavior should go away.
(I realize that I am throwing a whole structure of beliefs and presuppositions at you – many of which would take hours to fully explain. Here is the best way that I know to start you off in the study of NLP, other than taking certification courses: read a good book. Years ago, when I was first sent on the mission to study NLP by a nearly magical executive recruiter, someone who was so good at his job that it literally seemed like magic to me, I started by reading a book about NLP. I started by reading “Heart of the Mind” by Connirae Andreas and Steve Andreas. This is still a good way to start.)
I’ll talk more about positive intentions and seemingly unpleasant aspects of behaviors another time. For today, consider reading some NLP – I know it would serve you. For me, as soon as I recognized that this behavior and the unpleasant feelings associated with it, had a positive intention for me and I could agree with the positive intention, then I started to feel better immediately. Now I am taking steps to mentally prepare myself should the same situation happen again – with poorly-evolved coworkers.
What am I working on today to make money online?
- I am making a blog post.
- I am reviewing 3 weeks worth of my blogging coaching.
- I am installing some new plugins into my blog.
- I am continuing to look for new and targeted followers on twitter.
- I am making 3 tweets on twitter.
- I am reviewing my vision of my intended future to stay motivated.
- I have added more notifiers to my blog so that when I make a new post, more services are notified.
That’s it for today. Sorry if this entry seems complex – it probably is too much information without enough background. I really do encourage you to explore NLP, there are lots of great ways to begin that process. I know for me, my initial study of NLP and then the dedicated time I invested in training; all of this totally transformed my life then and my life now. I am still grateful for being sent on the mission to explore it, almost exactly 20 years ago today.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Picture yourself in your minds eye as having already achieved this goal. See yourself doing the things you’ll be doing when you’ve reached your goal.” ~Earl Nightingale
Making Money Online and Writing Part Five
Aug 4th
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese
I woke up thinking this morning about an old injury that I had received. This wasn’t an injury of the body, it was an injury to my spirit. I had worked with someone in the past and they had consistently treated me poorly, for no reason other than jealousy of my performance. They even made a habit of talking me down to others when I was not around to defend myself. I felt hurt and angered. Now why did I feel this way – even more powerfully, why do I still feel this way?
I felt and feel this way because my rules of behavior had been violated, someone had behaved towards me in a way that was inappropriate to my rules – so much okay. Now here is the next part of my pattern: my pattern then has me brood on this violation not just for awhile, but anytime anything triggers this memory! Wow! I have been hurt hundreds of times now from this person – but who is really doing the hurting? Not the original poorly evolved co-worker; they aren’t even around me. I am now hurting myself! Why?
Every Behavior has a Positive Intention
So why do I continue to think about this person, from time to time, and still feel pain about it? Because at some level, it serves me to do so. Wow! That can be a hard statement to take in and digest, but I don’t think there is another bettter answer. So how does it serve me and equally important, what am I going to do about this so it no longer bothers me? I have set my unconscious mind to this task and tomorrow we will explore my options. I think it will be fun to come back and read the results tomorrow. How about you, do you have some recurring memory that causes you pain? What could be the positive intention and how can you satisfy that intention?
What am I Doing Today to Make Money Online
- I am making a blog entry.
- I am making three entries to my twitter account.
- I am working on my product that I intend to sell related to goal achievement.
- I am exploring competitive products and see what they are offering and how much they are charging.
- I am working on a speaking proposal to a new audience that will increase my following.
- i am exploring the software package “tweet adder” and seeing if I want to explore this tool.
- I am going to attend my writer’s group tonight and learn all I can and give support and be supported.
- I am working hard to increase my physical vitality so that I have more energy to devote to achieving my goals. (Translation: exercise and diet)
- I am doing my best with my existing clients to continue the process of making them achieve their dreams as quickly and elegantly as possible.
Till next time…Jack
“He who has injured thee was stronger or weaker than thee. If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare thyself.” ~Seneca (Seneca the Elder)