Posts tagged goal achieving
These Questions Make The Difference in Goals
Jun 5th
“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking”. ~Albert Einstein
Last time I talked about what I do when I don’t achieve a goal on time. This happens quite often by the way. I would say that I only achieve my goals exactly when I first wanted to get them done perhaps 40% of the time. However, that doesn’t mean that I give up on my goals. I am passionately committed to making my dreams become my waking reality! Overall, I achieve something like 95% of my goals and the rest…well somewhere along the way of pursuing them I changed and I no longer wanted them. That is also fine – I grew and things changed for me.
So, on to questions and goals that I didn’t get done exactly when I wanted them to happen. (Please notice how I structure this sentence – I am presupposing that I will get this goal done – just my estimation of timing was off!)
Questions to ponder and answer when you don’t get a goal done on time:
First off: Honestly answer this question: Do you still want this goal? You must really want it! Assuming that you do then answer these questions:
- What stopped me from getting this goal done on time?
- Did I have a great plan for achieving this goal?
- What part of the plan was easy for me to do?
- What part of the plan was hard for me to do?
- Did something or collection of somethings stop me from following through on my plan?
- If something stopped me, how can I change this now or soon?
- Was I afraid of something…is there something about the goal itself that I am afraid of?
- Was I afraid of something…is there something about a step or steps along that way that I am afraid of?
- If I was afraid of something, what steps will I take to eliminate this fear or eliminate these fears?
- Did I model someone that had already achieved my goals and the steps that they took?
- Who else can I model…who else already has what I want and what did they do to get there?
- What do I believe about this goal; do I need to install some additional beliefs in myself to make achieving this goal easier?
- What do I believe about this goal; do I need to change some limiting beliefs in myself to make achieving this goal easier?
- Did I underestimate how much work it would require to achieve this goal? (My number one personal tendency!)
- Do I have a compelling enough set of reasons why for this goal…have I put down exciting reasons why I want to achieve this goal?
- Did I review my reasons why often enough to stay in touch with my source of motivation?
- What can I eliminate from my life, from my days and weeks, in order to free up more time to achieve this goal (and my other goals!)
By the way, this series of questions asked at the beginning of a goal setting session will give you a wonderful plan for achieving any goal! These are powerful questions and they require significant effort to answer. Also you may not know how to do some of the tasks that the questions will reveal as needed…together we will explore these techniques.
These questions also are the basis of my work with clients – who always hire me to achieve a goal or goals – and the basis of the book that I will be releasing later this year on the subject of goals and goal achieving. May you find these questions illuminating!
Till next time…Jack
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again”? ~Winnie the Pooh
Planning for Success Part Four
Feb 7th
Death twitches my ear. “Live,” he says, “I am coming.” ~Virgil (Publius Vergilius Maro), Minor Poems, Copa
Greetings! How have you been since my last entry? Hopefully great! Last time we looked at my list of 20 reasons why I was going to do what it takes to get back into great shape in 2009. I also talked briefly about towards motivation and away from motivation. For many goals, for many of my clients, I will have them only look at towards (positive) motivations. I do this for good reason, negative motivators are by nature stress inducing and one thing most of my clients tend to already have enough of is stress. When you focus just on moving away from something, then you will feel stress.
Is negative motivation always bad then? No. Negative motivation is often, even commonly, more powerful than positive motivation. Given that, when you really need to get something done, and especially if you have tried to make a change in the past and it did not happen, then it becomes a good idea to use negative and positive motivation.
For me, I have been trying to get back into shape since I became a non-smoker. I have gotten most of the way there and gotten out of shape again. I have lost weight again and again only to gain it back. I have lost, conservatively, 500 pounds in the past 12 years and yet here I am, still virtually the same weight. I could be depressed about this; I could even give up, but I am not going to. This time things will be very different and you will see why as this series of articles progresses and the year goes on!
My Vision for Optimal Health
(Here is the first draft of my personal vision that I will use to help me get back in shape. It is a work in progress, I will update it whenever I find a way to make it feel even better, work even better, motivate me even more fully.)
I wake up in the morning feeling great – feeling completely rested and energized. More >
Planning for Success Part Three
Feb 5th
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~Albert Einstein
The last entry ending with a description of and homework for “capture.” Did you do a capture around a goal and why it is important to you? Here is my capture for why I intend to return to my optimal bodyweight by the end of this year:
- I am tired of being tired.
- I want the energy and vitality to really live my life again.
- I want to be able to jog again.
- I want to be able to play tennis again.
- I want to compete again in running road races.
- I want to look great in a swimsuit.
- I want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.
- I want to run with the bulls in Spain.
- I want to be around to play with my grandchildren.
- I want to feel attractive again.
- I want to feel great about my appearance on stage when I am working and performing.
- I want my family to be proud of me.
- I want to feel energized and strong.
- I want the energy to live my dreams.
- I want to feel how great it feels to be an athlete again.
- I want to buy a new elegant wardrobe at my ideal weight.
- I want to see the wonder in the eyes of people when they see me again.
- I want my mother to see me in shape again while she is still living.
- I don’t want to get diabetes and this runs in my family and being overweight makes it much worse.
- I want to live a long life and have the energy and health to really enjoy it.
That may be enough for this entry. If you read those over, you will find that some of these are things that I want to move towards – positive motivation – and some of them are things that I want to move away from – negative motivation. When I was first studying NLP they taught us both positive and negative motivation strategies. The also taught us to create a compulsion – a place where you are simultaneously driven away from what you do not want and pulled towards what you do want. Although I am not going to create a near phobic response More >
Planning for Success Part Two
Feb 4th
“To the person who does not know where he wants to go there is no favorable wind.” ~Seneca
Vision. This entry will talk about the process of creating a vision; creating a vision as part of the process of making a plan to achieve a specific goal. I know that I just finished an entire nine part series about creating a vision and I shared that information on this blog. Still, this will come after “vision” from a slightly different angle and it is information well worth having.
Before we talk about vision again, I’m going to share a bit of backstory. Some of you know that I am a certified NLP Practitioner. Some of you even know what that means – at least in the field of self-improvement and self-development. For all of you though, and for me, I am going to start sharing some of my NLP history and experiences in this blog. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is such a powerful set of skills and learnings and it is a key set of techniques that I continually call upon to help my clients and myself. How did I get involved in NLP and what does that have to do with “vision?’ Still more backstory is needed for that.
Backstory
So now, I am stepping into the “Wayback Machine.” (Quick, anyone remember where that phrase comes from?) In 1984, I was hired by a small start-up in Southern California, my first job after college. I was hired as an accountant and what a wild and great experience I had there. The two founders of this company, George Handgis and Bob McNulty, had a vision of creating the largest Home Improvement Centers chain in the USA. Armed with drive, seemingly unshakeable self-confidence, and not much money, they very nearly made it. More >
Planning for Success Part One
Feb 3rd
“Come to the edge, He said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said.
They came. He pushed them,
And they flew . . .”
~Guillaume Apollinaire – French poet
This is going to be a multi-post series of articles about planning. I am going to show the exact techniques that I teach to my clients and I am going to illustrate these techniques by creating my own plan for getting back in shape.
In the last entry I shared and clarified the goal: “I will return to my optimal bodyweight before the end of 2009.” became “I will return to 195 pounds of bodyweight by the morning of December 31st, 2009.”
So the first step was to clarify the goal – to make sure that it was easy to understand and told my brain exactly what I wanted to achieve by what date. (By the way, if there is some big goal that you really want to accomplish, you might consider taking it through this process with me. I know that you will find it useful.) So, now I have my goal and my deadline. The next question that I am going to ask is: Is it possible to achieve this, is it reasonable to achieve this, in the time that I have allowed? I believe yes, just!
Let me explain. I have 11 months to achieve this weight loss and I currently weigh around 330 pounds. I intend to return to my ideal weight of 195 pounds which means that I must lose 135 pounds in 11 months. Simple math tells me that equals 12.28 pounds per month or approximately 3.07 pounds per week. Is this possible? Yes it is. From my past efforts at losing weight and my research, this is indeed possible. Is it reasonable – probably not completely. It is however exciting, and I will take the excitement over a more reasonable goal.
How about you? Does your goal excite you? Is it possible? If it seems impossible to you, then move out the date or reduce the goal until you get a signal from your brain that you believe it can be done. It is okay to be afraid, we will talk about what that means in this series, but you must at least believe that the goal is possible in the time that you have allowed. If not, make a change in the quantity of the goal and the time allotted until you believe that it can be done. It is okay if it is a stretch. It is okay if it feels a little scary to write it down. It is okay if you don’t know how you will achieve it yet. It is okay if you have failed to achieve this same goal in the past. We will deal with each of these things.
How about excitement? Is this an exciting goal? Make sure that it is very exciting to you and that it is your goal – not a goal that someone else has given you. If you have been given a goal by someone else, then rewrite the goal until it deals with rewards directly related to you and it excites you!
For example, your boss might tell you: “You need to open 50 new accounts this year and they need to each buy an average of $4,000 dollars.” This is actually a more clear goal than most bosses will actually give. Still, it has nothing directly related to you in this goal. There may be an implicit “or else”. This might be: or else we will demote you. It might be: or else we will fire you. There will certainly be some negative consequences associated with a goal that you are given – an “or else”. Rarely, there will be some positive consequences discussed. For example: Do this and we will promote you or do this and we will give you a $10,000 bonus. This may or may not be enough to excite you.
For me, I am not directly excited by money. I am much more excited by thinking about the freedom and the experiences that the money will buy. I don’t know what motives you most – what turns you on – but you do! So rewrite any goal that you have, self created or given to you by another, until in positive terms, it talks about benefits that excite you.
What about my goal? Does “I will return to 195 pounds of bodyweight by the morning of December 31st, 2009.” excite me? Yes it does. Does it clearly state why I am excited about this? No. It doesn’t. Next time, I will show you how to create a vision to go along with the goal that will do this very thing.
To recap:
- Write down your goal
- Make sure your goal has a clear and easy to measure “What by When”
- Check for reasonableness or possibility – can this be done?
- If it can’t or feels impossible, the rewrite the goal, changing the amount or the time frame until you can believe it.
- Check for excitement. Make sure that you are excited about this goal.
- If this a goal that was given to you by another – check for all of these same things.
Till next time… Jack
“Courage is being scared to death—but saddling up anyway.” ~John Wayne
Your Vision of the Future Part Seven
Jan 28th
“Vision is the art of seeing the invisible.” ~Jonathan Swift
I thought I would share my personal vision today for the next twelve months. Seeing my example, built from my top five goals might be useful.
Here again are my top five goals for the next twelve months:
- Health: I will return to my optimal bodyweight before the end of 2009.
- Family: My wife and I will take our family to New York for a great vacation to celebrate my elder daughter’s completion of her graduate program.
- Business: I will blog 5 days per week – every week of 2009.
- Finances: I will earn more in 2009 than I ever have before – at least 25% more.
- Fun: I will run in the USA’s largest cross-country race: The Living History Farms Seven Miler.
Here is the vision that I built from those goals:
It is the morning of December 31st and I have had a marvelous year. I feel More >
Your Vision of the Future Part Five
Jan 23rd
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” ~Frank A. Clark
How did you do with selecting your five most important goals for the coming year? I know that this was challenging for some of you – it was very challenging for me the first time I did this exercise. Remember, you are not giving up on your other goals for the year – you are committing to five goals that you will absolutely focus on achieving and the process of doing that will help many if not all of your other goals to happen along the way.
So, I am going to assume that you have selected five goals for the coming year. We are going to be using these to create a vision for what your life will be like in twelve months – once you have manifested these goals in your life. Here is your assignment and it does not need to be done perfectly, it just needs to be done: Write a story, your own life story, for a time twelve months from now. You have successfully achieved your five most important goals. Talk about what you feel like with these goals achieved. Talk about what having these goals manifested in your life allows you to do. Talk about the positive effects in your life from these goals now being done. Talk about whatever motivates you; especially talk about how great it feels to you and how great it feels for the significant others in your life to see you and experience you with these goals completed.
Have fun with this. We will fine-tune it next time and talk about how to use this vision.
Till next time…Jack
“Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke
New Year’s Resolutions Part Five
Jan 9th
“Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius.” ~Pietro Aretino
Well hello. I am looking out at a beautiful winter scene as I write this entry. I spent much of my youth in Chicago and the winters there were often quite extreme. I can remember one Christmas break from college, I was working at Amtrak between college semesters, and we had a nice cold snap. For two weeks the temperature hovered near 50 below zero (Fahrenheit) and with wind chill – wow! It turned out to be a real blessing for me. Amtrak could not turn off the diesel locomotives, it was so cold that they could not be restarted, so I was paid overtime everyday to stay and tend things. For a college kid, this extra money was a great gift. I am still grateful more than 30 years later.
I was thinking about this time today when others around me were complaining about the weather. Winter doesn’t bother me. I know it will end. I know it is a natural part of life and needed for all of the plants and animals that are native to this area to rest and rejuvenate. I also know that I cannot change it and I will not allow something that I cannot change or influence to have control of my moods. I was also thinking about how sweet spring will be after this cold winter. So, thanks winter!
I was also thinking that every rough patch in my life, and there were some very rough patches indeed, always had a gift for me – if I was smart enough to find it. Even looking back at the darkest times in my life, poor, getting divorced, living in the back of my car, fighting for custody of my daughter – there were gifts for me in that experience. Now I was not smart enough to see them, those gifts, at the time. It took years of growth and reflection before I could achieve that place. Today, when I find myself in a rough patch, I ask myself two questions: 1) What is great about this and 2) What could be great about this if I looked at it from the right perspective? And you know what? There always is a gift waiting for me!
Last time I had you put your 5 driving goals on the front of three by five index cards. Here’s why. I want you to put the following questions on the back of the index cards:
- Why is this goal important to me? Above and beyond the goal itself, what will the accomplishment of this goal allow me to do or be or experience or feel?
- How great will it feel when this goal is accomplished?
- What do I need to change about myself to ensure that I accomplish this goal?
- What is the most important thing that I need to do today, to move myself along the path of achieving this goal?
- What else can I do to make it even more certain that I will achieve this goal?
- What can I do to make sure that I have fun, a blast, as I work to achieve this goal?
So, add these questions to the back of the cards. Do you have that done? Great! Now here is the critical part. Keep the cards with you and every single day, at least a couple of times per day, review your goals, all five of them, and then flip the card over and answer the questions. Within a short time you will feel the difference, you will begin to find the answers you need, make the changes required and you are very likely to achieve those goals! I know lots of more techniques, but I know of none easier and more certain at the same time.
And now a bit of fun and trivia: Some of you know that I am related to Robert Burns the Scottish Poet and that I have visited his hometown and gravesite in Scotland. Did you know that when you sing, on New Year’s Eve, “Auld Lang Syne”you are singing one of Robert’s most beloved creations? Since this is the last entry that will talk about New Year’s Resolutions, at least for awhile, I thought it would be fun to give you the poem/song here (sing with gusto!):
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and days of auld lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!
And surely I’ll buy mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
and days of auld lang syne?
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since days of auld lang syne?
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared,
since days of auld lang syne?
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
and days of auld lang syne?
Till next time…Jack
“Antisthenes says that in a certain faraway land the cold is so intense that words freeze as soon as they are uttered, and after some time then thaw and become audible, so that words spoken in winter go unheard until the next summer.” ~Plutarch, Moralia
New Year’s Resolutions Part Four
Jan 8th
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” ~Abraham Lincoln
Did you choose 5 marvelous goals for 2009? Great! Take a minute and review them against these questions.
- Are these goals really exciting? If they aren’t then change them until they are.
- Are these goals spread across all the areas of your life? Make sure that they are not all focusing on just one or two topics. Balance!
- Are these goals big enough to excite you when you think about them actually being completed?
- Are these goals small enough, or realistic enough, that you can believe that is truly possible to accomplish them before the end of the coming year? If you don’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.
There are many other great questions that can be used to fine tune goals. Those four are enough for this entry. Here is the last thing I will ask you to do today with your five goals: write each one of them, individually, on the front of a three by five index card. Then keep these five cards with you all of the time. We will cover shortly why this matters and what you will do with the cards to actually ensure that you achieve the goals that are written on them.
Till next time…Jack
“My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.” ~Elaine Maxwell
New Year’s Resolutions Part Three
Jan 5th
“Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.” ~Henry Ward Beecher
Happy 2009! Is this going to be a wonderful year for you and yours? I hope so. I certainly intend that this be the best year that I have experienced so far. How about you? What are your intentions? What are your goals? Would you like to make this your best year ever? Would you more than like it – would you love it – do you want it so much that you can taste it? Then read on (and make a habit of reading this blog. We are going to go on some great adventures together this year!)
Last time I shared my blogging goal. I must tell you that sharing that goal made me a little uneasy. When it was a private goal, I could easily make excuses to myself. But I am tired of making excuses to myself – I want to see my dreams living and breathing right in front of me and accomplishing that will take action and lots of it! So, I made a public commitment. I can feel the power of that commitment even as I write these words.
So, here are all of my Top Five Commitments for 2009
Health: I will return to my optimal bodyweight before the end of 2009.
Family: My wife and I will take our family to New York for a great vacation to celebrate my elder daughter’s completion of her graduate program.
Business: I will blog 5 days per week – every week of 2009.
Finances: I will earn more in 2009 than I ever have before – at least 25% more.
Fun: I will run in the USA’s largest cross-country race: The Living History Farms Seven Miler.
By the way, each of these resolutions or goals is what one of my old bosses called a “bhag” Bhag: a big hairy audacious goal – a goal of tremendous importance that a first may seem daunting or impossible, but upon reflect is realized to be so desirable that you will do whatever it takes to make it happen. I just love that term.
Are these all of my goals for 2009? Not even close. But these are the drivers – these are the goals that will ensure that all of the other ones get done. Next time, I will talk about how I will use these on a daily basis to make sure that I accomplish my goals for 2009 (and have a great time along the way!).
Bye for now…Jack
“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.” ~Victor Frankl