Personal Development;Life Enhancement;Achievement
Executive Coaching
A Bit About Goal Setting
Sep 1st
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854
As I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop on the South side of Minneapolis, Minnesota. I have just finished walking for an hour around Lake Calhoun, one of the beautiful string of lakes and parks that help to make this city such a delight. Even though I am traveling on business here today, I made time for this walk – regular walking is a critical component to my achieving the goal that I shared last time. (The weather here is so nice today, it really was not a challenge at all to get myself out walking – today the challenge was to quit at an hour!)
I am going to be sharing just a bit more about my health goal for next year. I’m doing this for a couple of reasons. First, I want to clearly state to the world, and of course myself, exactly what I am going to do. (The how I am going to do this comes later – I certainly don’t know all of the how yet, but I have faith that I will find it.) Second, some of the ways that I have formed this goal, and am now committing to it, may be of use to some of my readers.
To recap, last time I shared that I had committed to the goal of getting myself back in shape in the coming twelve months. I made this goal public on this blog to get leverage on myself. Getting leverage on yourself can be a very good thing indeed. So can making a public commitment to getting something accomplished. I realized today that I had not been very specific in the details that I shared about that goal. Here are those missing specifics:
- By July 1st, 2011, I will weigh no more than 195 lbs (dressed in summer workout gear including shoes). This is very specific.
- My bodyfat percentage will be no more than 15% and I will have this professionally measured by a personal trainer at my health club.
- I will also be very aerobically fit. I will measure that this way: I will be jogging at least 3 times per week for at least 30 minutes each time at a pace no slower than 10 minutes per mile. Additionally, I will be bike riding at least 3 times per week for at least 1 hour each time at a pace no slower than 10 miles per hour.
Now that is a decently written goal for me and here are some of the reasons why:
- It is doable in the time frame (barely!).
- It is very measurable.
- It does take into account some larger aspects of my life. (I must be aerobically fit and has a healthy ending bodyfat percentage – it isn’t just about my ending weight.)
- Accomplishing this goal will open up lots of other aspects of my life as well.
Okay. Enough for today about my getting in great shape goal. Here is a question for you: Should you always share your goals publicly? I say no. Next time I’ll talk more about the why and why not of this.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“It is never too late to be who you might have been.” ~George Eliot
Avoid These Mistakes When Starting Your Book
Aug 25th
“A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one.” ~Rita Mae Brown
In 2005 I decided that I was going to write a book. As I mentioned in my last entry, this wasn’t a consciously made choice. My unconscious mind decided that it was time to take action and let me know this at the end of a seminar.
I am not sure why I made that decision at that particular time. I had known that I would benefit from a book for years; as a seasoned and in-demand seminar leader, I almost always had the opportunity to sell products at the end of my presentations. Instead I used this time for chatting with attendees and over time, many of these chats ended up becoming coaching or consulting clients. (Although I can successfully coach virtually anyone that speaks a common language with me, I only consult on a handful topics.)
So, these seminars, along with other marketing techniques, kept me with a consistently full coaching practice, commonly with a waiting list, and I was complacent. Not lazy, just complacent.
Use me as a BAD example
Once I had made the decision to become a published non-fiction author, I thought about it virtually every day. And there is the beginning of the first mistake. I thought about it everyday. I invested energy into it every day. I felt bad that I wasn’t writing more – almost every day. What I didn’t do was take action on it every day – that would have taken a different and much wiser decision!
Three Mistakes I Made
Looking back 6 years, I am embarrassed. I should have known better! As an NLP practitioner, I had helped hundreds of people get unstuck and begin taking consistent action from a place of pleasure. From my slightly more enlightened future, I can look back now and see three big mistakes that I made.
- My first mistake was not deciding – not committing to – taking action every single day.
- My second mistake: I was using a pitiful motivation strategy to get myself to take what little action I did take! (I’ve talked about good and bad motivation strategies before and I will again – really useful stuff!)
- Finally I was not accountable to anyone for getting this book done. The only person I was reporting to about it was me and that was just not good enough.
Next time I’ll talk about what I would do differently and what I am doing differently now to write books.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” ~Attributed to both Edwin Markham and Pythagoras
How Far Should You Plan Your Life?
Feb 24th
“If you don’t have a plan for yourself, you’ll be part of someone else’s”. ~American proverb
Last time I talked about my new laptop running Windows 7. I’ve been using it many hours a day for a couple of weeks now and I still love it. Windows 7 is a great improvement over Vista, so much so that I am going to convert two of my other computers to run Windows 7. And the new Sony Vaio “F” series? I have never had a computer boot up and settle down so quickly and the hd screen and blu-ray player are just great!
How Far Should You Plan Your Life?
How far should you plan your life? In my opinion: as far you’d like to be alive living it! In more practical terms, I encourage my clients to have motivating and exciting goals that go out at least 10 years. In 10 years you can accomplish virtually anything – as long as you use those 10 years wisely.
Planning and goal setting go hand in hand. I set goals that excite me and then I put together the best plan that I can, to make that goal happen. Does that mean that goal setting and planning happen at the same time? Generally speaking – no. For most people, and most businesses, the process of setting goals and the process of making plans to achieve those goals should be very separate. For companies beyond a certain size, goal setting and creating workable plans to achieve those goals may even be best done by different groups of people. I’ll talk more about this separation of creation and planning in larger companies in another post.
Do You Have 10 Years of Exciting Goals?
If yes – great! Congratulations! Now go set some great and motivating goals 15 years out and soon we will talk about the process of creating plans to make these goals part of your everyday reality.
You don’t have any goals that go out 10 years or more? Then here is some homework. Remembering that you can accomplish virtually anything in 10 years, and being completely unconcerned (at this time) about what it will take to make these goals a reality; set at least 3 goals that stretch out at least 10 years. If you need a little help, consider these questions:
If you were certain that you could accomplish it, in the next 10 years,
- Where would you like to be living?
- How much money would you like to have saved?
- What would you be doing for a living?
Next time I’ll talk more about 10 year goals – big goals – and a great attitude for creating these goals. (And soon I’ll give you a simple technique to put yourself in a great mental frame for setting exciting, compelling and authentic goals.).
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Wishing consumes as much energy as planning”. ~American proverb
The Birth of an Executive Coach
Feb 9th
“None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Birth of an Executive Coach
Last time I finished talking about my decision to self-publish my first book even though I had traditional publishing offers on the table. This time I’m going to talk about some of the actual content of my upcoming book – a book about goals and achievement.
I was born as an Executive Coach in May 1989, although I did not know that this was my destiny at the time. Like most newborns, I did not have a clue what was going on and it would take me a number of years to make sense of the world around me.
In May of 89, I left my well-paid job in Retail Mega-Box management, well-paid but otherwise boring and totally unsatisfying, and went into Executive Search (headhunting) and the temporary employment business. I had only trivial experience in either of these businesses. I had been called by headhunters a few times, looking to move me from one Mega-Box to another. These headhunters didn’t seem too bright and they seemed to make a great deal of money. (Interesting combination. I certainly wanted to make a great deal of money and at times I was a veritable idiot. I filed this information away for further analysis.)
In the world of temporary employment, I had worked extensively at numerous temporary agencies in Southern California after I graduated from college. Eventually I found my first career position and stopped working temporary assignments. While working, I had gained some great information though – there was a great deal of money to be made in the temporary business and they, the owners that I had met, didn’t seem all that bright either.
What does this have to do with my first book on goals? I’m getting there, I promise!
Death as a Counselor
In December of 1985 my father died of leukemia. He was relatively young, 61 years old, when he died. Vibrant and healthy for most of his life, in 18 months he was stripped of virtually everything – his physical vitality, his freedom of movement, his privacy and eventually his life – in 18 short months he lost all of these.
I visited him almost every other day for most of this time. My blood was helping to keep him alive and we saw more of each other in this short time than we really had in years. He talked often of the things that he was going to do if he got out of the hospital. He was going to travel again. He was going to go see the pyramids. He had a long list of things that he wanted to do and experience. He died without having done any of these – he died with most of his dreams unlived.
His death affected me deeply. I was 26 years old when he died and I swore that I was going to do my best to retire before I was 40 years old and I was going to live my dreams – for both of us.
Goals were the Starting Place
I did manage to retire before I was 40. This early retirement only lasted about 10 years, no one had told me how much money could be spent if you had full time to devote to the process of spending, but my next early retirement is coming up fast. And this time, well, I have a much higher number in mind for my retirement! Come back next time and learn more about how goals were the starting place for me then and the drivers for me now.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” ~ Sir Edmund Hillary
Charles Dickens and Groundhog Day
Feb 2nd
“Groundhog Day is a lot like a rock concert but the people are better behaved and there’s a groundhog involved…” ~Tom Chapin, editor of the Punxsutawney Spirit newspaper.
… As an aside, it is Groundhog Day in the United States while I am writing this entry. Although I am not sure that “Punxsutawney Phil” is any better at weather forecasting than me, and I am not very good; I do love the concept! The cute little devil did see his shadow today and has forecast 6 more weeks of winter. Not a shocker – this winter does not seem to want to let go. …
Last time I talked about my first book and its upcoming release in November of 2010. I also mentioned that my decision to self-publish this first book was influenced by my research into the life of Charles Dickens. Here is a bit more about that story:
I recently read “The Making of Charles Dickens” by Christopher Hibbert and I really enjoyed the experience! I not only discovered a new author whose style I liked, but a prolific author as well. This means I have lots of great books waiting for me to find and read. I also got some great insights into what might have helped Charles Dickens be the incredible novelist that he was. (Did you know that he is one of the very few authors that has never gone out of print? And this, as I write this entry, some 140 years after his death? Wow!)
I am always looking for the “secrets of success” or the unique beliefs that help exceptional people be exceptional. Here are some of the secrets that I extracted from my recent study of “Boz”:
1) Being extremely focused on the task at hand – fiercely determined to get it right – is a key to success in writing (and any other aspect of living.)
2) It is okay to be afraid about the reception your writing will receive – as long as you are brave enough to get it out to the public to read.
3) Believe in the value of your writing, even if others at first do not share your enthusiasm.
4) Write about what you know intimately well and share the clarity of your vision.
5) Don’t be afraid to ask what you think your writing is worth.
6) You can do more than you think you can.
7) It is fine to use newest technology to publish your books. (Dickens commonly used magazines and serial releases of chapters – then he sold the books as completed documents. This was pretty cutting edge stuff for the day.) This final point is the one that swayed me to the side of self-publishing.
Next time I’ll be talking about the complete set of reasons why I decided to self-publish this first book and what the implications might be for you and me.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time”. ~Charles Dickens from his novel “David Copperfield”
Ready to Learn the Rules of Life?
Nov 4th
“Life is succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood” ~Helen Keller
I just finished reading “If Life is a Game, These are the Rules” by Cherie Carter-Scott Ph.D and it was a great experience! I am not sure why it took me so long to run across this wonderful little guide-book for life. It was originally published in 1998 and I do read a lot, especially in the fields of self-help and self-development. I am going to assume that I was not ready for the lessons contained in the book until now. (If Cherie should run across this entry, my apology in advance. I just could not figure out how to get that mark over the first “e” in your first name. Sorry about that!)
I am not going to repeat all of the ten lessons from the book; I am going to encourage you to buy a copy to read if you don’t already own one. I do want to share just the first three rules…
Rule One: You Will Receive a Body – You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.
Rule Two: You Will Be Presented With Lessons – You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “life.” Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.
Rule Three: There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons – Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occassional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work.
These three rules really called out to me and in light of my recent illness and my new dedication to the health and vitality of my body, I know that I am ready to learn.
Do yourself a favor – go find this book. Here is a link to Carter-Scott’s website which is also a great education in and of itself.
Till next time faithful readers…Jack
“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.” ~Eartha Kitt
A Fresh Start in Life
Sep 21st
“No matter where you go, there you are” ~Buckaroo Banzai (and many others! Follow this link to learn more about this great quote)
We have been moving into a new home, new to us anyway, for the past week or so. There are still lots of smaller things to take from the old house and lots to organize. My home office for example is going to be really great and I am putting significant energy into its design and layout. I want a space that really supports me – when I am not traveling I spend much of my working time in my home office – and I want to feel great and empowered as soon as I walk in the door. To support this goal, I am buying new shelves for my books, my great and lifelong friends, and I will finally have room for a large work table near these racks of books. This part of my office will look and feel much like a library and I love libraries!
The Common Problem with Starting Over
I have moved many times in my life and most times the moves had one common issue – I always brought me – with my various problems and less than optimal habits right along with me! I thought this time I would do something very different. I am going to use this move as an opportunity of leaving some old habits behind and beginning some new more empowering habits. How am I go to do this? I am going to use ritual and visualization and evoking memories of past times of change. I think I will invest the next few blog entries covering how I do this and how you might do the same – whether or not you are moving at all!
Come back next time and see more about how to create and effectively use your own “Ritual of Starting Over”.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” ~Milton Berle
Making Money Online and Writing Part 9
Aug 27th
“If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.” ~J.M. Power
A couple of entries ago, I was talking about the things that I have been consistently procrastinating. Here is a recap of that list of shame (well, really mild embarrassment):
- I am not consistently writing at least 1000 words per day on my book.
- I am not consistently doing the needed research weekly to have the 1000 words to write.
- I am not consistently getting up every morning at 5am to write.
- I am not consistently lifting weights 4 times per week.
- I am not consistently marketing myself to new speaking venues weekly.
- I am not consistently reading the blogs of writers that I respect.
- I am not consistently commenting on the blogs of writers that I respect.
This week I have done much better. Really, as soon as I wrote up the list and looked it over, I knew I could do better. Why did I do better? Here is the process that I went over to put myself into a different place – to come from a different perspective:
- I looked at my dreams for my life – business and personal – for the next few years and re-associated to how great it would feel when I had achieved these things. It will feel incredible!
- I looked at the things I was procrastinating and verified that there were critical – they were – they are.
- I honestly asked myself, expecting an answer and willing to listen, “Why am I procrastinating on these critical items?”
- I wrote down the answers for each of these “procrastination issues”.
- I committed to taking action daily both on the critical steps and the answers. (By the way, the most common reason for me not taking action was comparing my early work in progress to the great completed works of others – I felt badly and then did not take action.)
Now, everything isn’t just as I want it yet. I will need to fine tune some attitudes and beliefs and habits to make it so. Still, I am now taking action on all of these and that feels great. A similar process can work for almost anyone that is putting off what needs to be done.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.” ~C.D. Jackson
What I Learned from Dan Brown of “The Da Vinci Code” Fame
Aug 26th
“You can be anything you want to be, if only you believe with sufficient conviction and act in accordance with your faith; for whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill
I just finished reading ‘The Man Behind The Da Vinci Code” – “An Unauthorized Biography of Dan Brown” by Lisa Rogak. This was by no means an earth-shakingly good book, but it did give me some good insights into how Dan Brown became the mega-successful author that he is today. I love to read autobiographies whenever I can, but Dan Brown has not written one yet. So, this book was as good as I could do.
I read autobiographies and biographies of people that I respect or people that have already achieved some part of what I intend to achieve. I believe that doing this saves me time and missteps – if someone has already done what I intend to do, and I do the same things that they did, I should achieve very similar results. (This is a basic tenet of NLP.) For me, I intend to be a best selling author and Dan has already done that. There should be a great deal that I can learn from him, even if I write non-fiction and he writes fiction.
So, What Did I Learn From My Study of Dan Brown?
- Write early in the day when you have no other commitments or excuses. Dan did most of the work on his first books starting between 4am and 430am.
- Study your first results and early feedback. Dan used each of his books as an exercise in learning what attracted attention and sales and what did not.
- Find a job that supports you while giving you time to write. Dan worked in LA and back on the East Coast as a teacher while working and publishing his early works. Self-discipline must be one of his keys to success!
- Find a supportive mate or best friend. Dan very wisely hooked up with his wife-to-be while he was a musician in LA and from what I gather, she is still a great source of help and guidance and belief.
- Study the competition. What is selling or not selling and how did they do that – I believe that Dan spent lots of time here.
- Carefully plot and plan your work. Dan had great outlines long before he wrote any significant amounts of his actual prose.
- Write much more than you need and edit harshly. I think this is great advice for anyone that writes!
Thanks for the great advice Dan. Even though I am getting this information from someone who did not actually interview you, I think you would agree with what I have extracted. And Dan, should you by some miracle read this – I and millions of others are really ready for your next book – call it good and send it out to us – perfection is unobtainable anyhow.
Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times.” ~ Johann Von Schiller
Making Money Online and Writing Part 8
Aug 24th
“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” ~Frank Herbert
In my last entry, I alluded to the things that I had been procrastinating – a little bit or a lot. Now is the time to publicly fess up. Here are the things that I am doing poorly, fitfully, or not at all:
What am I Procrastinating?
- I am not consistently writing at least 1000 words per day on my book.
- I am not consistently doing the needed research weekly to have the 1000 words to write.
- I am not consistently getting up every morning at 5am to write.
- I am not consistently lifting weights 4 times per week.
- I am not consistently marketing myself to new speaking venues weekly.
- I am not consistently reading the blogs of writers that I respect.
- I am not consistently commenting on the blogs of writers that I respect.
The vast majority of these are business related – only the weightlifting falls outside of my professional life and even that one has a powerful business component. Weight lifting is the one sure thing that I know from my past that will ensure that I rapidly return to optimal health and bodyweight. For me, weightlifting matters more than diet or aerobic exercise.
So Why Do I Think I Procrastinate and Why Should You Care?
I’ll cover the whys first:
- I am afraid of something – of failing. When I probe deeper, I am comparing my first efforts with the polished final results of other authors – of course this would make me feel badly.
- I am not in the habit of getting up early – this is just a habit, but it is not serving me.
- I feel uncomfortable going to gym to workout by myself and since no one is expecting me, it is easy to skip.
- I am comfortable in my life and so I am not doing the things that I already know to do. Am I manifesting my potential? Not at all. Am I serving my family and my future? Only at a minimal level. I have gotten comfortable with doing less than my potential.
Why should you care? I want to be an example for you. If I can’t be a example of doing good – and I always want to be that – at least I will be an example of what not to do! In the next entry, I will talk about what I am doing to change these bothersome whys!
So What am I going to do this week to enhance my business and make money online?
- I am going to get up every morning at 5am sharp!
- I am going to do my research!
- I am going to write and post 5 blog entries.
- I am going to locate at least 600 compatible twitter accounts and follow them.
- I am going to lift weights four times.
Tune in next time and I will talk about how I am going to get myself to do these things (and do them consistently!). Till next time faithful reader…Jack
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” ~Aristotle